Tuesday 3 August 2010

<一个父亲的心声>

Tuesday, 3 Aug, 2010.
Went for driving at 10.30 today, 今天, 以平常心去上十点三十分的driving课,...
when i saw that my car number( car 130), knew it'd be Mr C again as its often him or another instructor whom I haven't seen in a while, for this no. ... and I often get car 130 though i don't fix instructor, maybe a kind of fate..我时常碰到谋些教练, 其中有从在SSDC 还没有搬家, 还在旧地方就已经开始教我的Mr C, 而今天又是他来教我了(我从来没有特别安排教练原因是相信多些instructor可以促使我我有更大的进步). 我常想, 这也算是一种缘分吧.

Mr C是一位非常尽责, 尽心尽力的instructor. 虽然他难免会"离题", 但至少不会睡着, 或让我感到他们感到超无聊, 这一点我很欣慰...
Mr C is an extremely patient instructor & extremely professional, he has never, NEVER, once dozed off to lalaland while teaching me before(while the same cannot be said for other instructors) , and is always explaining things to me tirelessly.
Anyway, he always talks a lot, and i was really stressed by the steering right & steering left & mirror-gazing, I somehow couldn't get how to adjust the mirror..(but this is another matter).

接近这堂课的尾声,我已经被parallel parking折磨'得笑不出来了, 所以他让我去练习其他的项目...于是我去试vertical parking, 天啊...怎么这么快生锈了? 正当我在park的时候, 他跟我我聊起自己的女儿, 我才知道, 原来他有一和个跟我年纪差不多大的女儿...

"她本来也是在学车, 后来放弃了..."
(我心想, 哈, 不跟我一样, 整整学了一年,从ang mo kio 学到般到woodlands...只好在心里面苦笑.)

他继续唠叨着...
"新加坡就是这样, 什么都很多压力, 读书也有压力, 工作也有压力.." before that at the start of the lesson, he was already grumbling about PAP=Pay & Pay, PUB=Pay until broke..., 可见他今天的心情属于不很好, he is apparently not in gd mood today.
(这时我默不作声, 毕竟自己现在是在家里过"退休"生活, 实在没什么好complain, 再complain的话真的应该去...*脏话*)

"她现在变得神经神经的, 你知道吗...?"
continues making hand gestures while I was taken aback, keeping silent.
我一时之间愣住, 没给反应.
... ...

"那她现在在家休息?.." 我说.
"她原本是念大学几年?"我问下去.

Mr C: 我不知道, 没有问她. *天阿, 我心里想.女儿念几年难道你都不知道? *

"她本来是念SIM(本地一所私人大学)的, 现在发疯(Mr C真的用了这个字眼)了, 我得养他, 他妈妈也得养她..."
言语中难免流露出他的无奈.

我感到很难过,...后来下课时了, 又跟Mr C.寒喧几句话...
etc etc..
为了说活而说的话...

I felt very saddened, by a parent's helplessness that he revealed, and also because I thought I sensed that he no longer has a lot of affection for this child..though I may be wrong, let's hope that I am indeed wrong...

试问, 天地下哪有不疼惜自己孩子的父母? 除非, 铁石心肠... ...

after all, which parent in this world doesn't love his/her child?
---待续to be continued---
Thanks for reading to the end :)
谢谢阅读.

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