Saturday, 26 March 2011

Do i have space for a relationship now?

To answer this question I'd have to ask myself if I'd REALLY be happier with one. I used to think so much of a BGR-得不到所以把它想像得很完美?because I tend to idealise what is out of reach(its human nature!) and when someone comes along I'd be so willing to compromise & make sacrifices, that without realising it really, was just being made use of!! As such, after deleting facebook so i wouldn't think/dream so much about Him, (my projected perfect boyfriend) I've learnt to live WITHOUT any expectations of a relationship & on my own. This has led me to look for things in my life again, ties which I've neglected/parts of myself I've left to rot(like my blog! )Thing is, do I really need a relationship? Would I genuinely be happier with one? Answer is...*drumroll* NO! Yes, N-O for no. I do not believe I'd be so much a lot happier with a BGR at this point in my life. Notice that I say, 'this point'...of course it'll be nice to share a close relationship with someone for whom we can have a common vision of a future together *at this point I'm inevitable reminded of facebook friends who very publicly exhibit their 'happiness' for e world to see...*...but if I can't even envision my own future now, what right do I have to involve some guy in the picture? As was with the last failed relationship, or something which hasn't even developed into 1 but was for a while in the stages of 暧昧, I think it would just be coming to nothing concrete, though I wouldn't say it was completely wasted, I had fun too! So instead of 2 persons suffering, I think I prefer to suffer alone. Develop myself more, polish up the rougher edges of my character, establish myself in more lasting friendships(I have too few) before putting my feet into the Rocky boat of BGR once more. (Yes, it takes courage) In the wake of the natural disasters & massive carnage that has befallen the world recently, my sentiment might sound against the romantic tide of feelings, but don't call me selfish just because I choose to stay on this side of the river. I choose to belive that there is happiness outside of romantic relationships for us ladies, it is up to us to define. 姐姐妹妹,站起来! Joyce 26/3/11

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